For over the past 10 years, Velvet Box has helped thousands of people overcome sexual barriers so they can experience the connection and excitement they deserve and have always wanted. Today, we’re letting you in on sex therapists’ top tips on how to experience the connection and sexual fulfillment you’re looking for in your relationship. Enter: the importance of communication.
Why is communication important?
Communication is vital for building and sustaining a healthy relationship both in and outside of the bedroom. Lack of communication can lead to a disconnect between partners, even if it’s not obvious right away. Just as we strive to change the narrative around sex and sexual wellness through open dialogue, it’s important that you communicate with your partner (and yourself) about your personal and sexual needs and desires in order to nurture your relationship and avoid discourse now and in the future.
Here, with the help of Dr. Marty Klein’s “8 Ways to Put Sex Therapists Out of Business” article, we answer why having open communication about sex (and everything else!) with your partner is important and advice to get you started.
Communication closes the gap between questions and answers
Does your partner know how you like to be touched when having sex? Do they know that you need a little extra stimulation to orgasm? Do you know if your partner likes it when you go down on them? In the words of Dr. Klein, “the answer to many, many questions is simply ‘talk to your partner.’ And do it more than once.” Take the time to sit down and talk about these things with your partner outside of the bedroom. Chances are you aren’t the only one who has questions.
To get going, try bringing our Teach Me Your Love Language communication tool to the table. For those who need a little extra help (and that’s quite a lot of us!) to achieve a full orgasm, try adding one (or all) of these into the mix: We Vibe Pivot, Womanizer Premium Eco, Wicked Gel Lubricant.
Communication can lead to more sexual fulfillment
It’s totally normal to feel vulnerable or insecure about your (or your partner’s) desires and fantasies, but as long as everyone is on the same page with safety and consent, there’s no need to. According to Dr. Klein, a “fantasy is a way to ‘experience’ things without any real-world consequences. Thus, fantasy is a library of human sexual imagination. No one fantasizes about things they can easily do in real life.” Of course, your fantasies might seem weird at first – they’re from your imagination! If you have a desire or fantasy that can’t be lived out without the help of your partner, tell them about it and ask them if they have any you can help with, too. Try using our Sexual Interest Inventory communication tool to get started. You might find that you both fantasize about the same things, or create a new, shared fantasy altogether. It takes two to tango!
When exploring your fantasies or trying new things in the bedroom, remember to always practice Aftercare to ensure both parties involved feel safe, comfortable, and listened to.
Communication can help to overcome sexual setbacks
There are many reasons why penetrative sex may not be an option (erectile dysfunction, painful vagina, or someone just isn’t in the mood). So if you want intercourse but can’t have it, talking to your partner about trying out other options is far healthier for your relationship than just stopping in frustration. In the words of Dr. Klein, “if two people want to have sex, and they can’t do the thing they planned to do, there are plenty of alternatives.” Find out what intimate acts you can do to satisfy each other when penetrative sex isn’t an option. Is it massaging in a certain spot? Find out with our How to Touch Me tool. Is it adding the use of a toy? If so, sit down with your partner and explore all that we have to offer in the For Us category of our online shop.
So, what have we learned?
Above all else, always keep in mind our favorite phrase: communication is lubrication. And that applies to both in and outside of the bedroom. Communication is the basis of all human interaction, and having an open conversation about sex with your partner should be no different than asking them how their day went. However, we understand that isn’t always that simple. So if you need a little extra confidence to initiate a conversation, our communication tools are tremendously helpful.
Everyone deserves great sex, and you deserve to know what works for you. Get brave and come see us at one of our five Dallas-Fort Worth locations. We’re proud to help you.