Is their vibrator replacing you?

The age of the vibrator is very much here, and it doesn’t look like it’s going anywhere (thank goodness!). Vibrators are effective in reaching an orgasm, but with their rise in popularity, there are some aspects to consider regarding vibrators’ impact on couples’ sex lives. To get more insight on the matter, we asked sexologist Dr. Marty Klein the question many of you might be wondering – Is their vibrator replacing you?

“In a word, no. Here are some of the things you can do that the vibrator can’t:

Hug. Kiss. Tease. Care. For most people, those are very important parts of sex.

You have infinite ways of touching them and discovering new ways to do so. A toy can never match your software—you’re patient, encouraging, accepting, light-hearted. That’s what makes sex, um, sexy. If you doubt it, ask them.

As with so much of technology, the right hardware enhances our experience, rather than replacing one of us. So why not take advantage of a toy? It adds to your couples’ experience by providing stimulation at the right intensity and speed—without tiring out your fingers, hand, or arm. Or theirs. It gives them control of that stimulation—you’re not concerned about that, I hope—which can relieve any concerns either of you has about her climaxing.

And the right vibrator will enhance their private pleasure, too. The typical result? More interest in partner sex, presumably with you.

Velvet Box has a wide range of vibrators that are easy to hold, fun to use, and add to the sexual experience. They even carry couples-oriented toys that you can use together, providing a special zing for you, too.

If your partner uses a vibrator, either by themselves or with you, that suggests they take their pleasure and sexual intimacy seriously, which should delight you. Ask them any questions you have about it, including “If you have one of those, what do you need me for?” I bet they’ll be glad to tell you. 

Have them give you a tour of how their favorite toy works—including how they use it when they’re alone, which may give you a few new ideas. Make sure you get your eyes right down where the action is, and make sure there’s some light in the room so you can see what’s what. 

And remember—while vibrators are great for providing orgasms, orgasms are not the most important part of sex. Right?”

  • Dr. Marty Klein is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and Certified Sex Therapist in Palo Alto, CA.

Sex toys are meant to enhance sex, rather than replace it, and we believe in providing individuals and partners with products that enhance intimacy and connection without isolation. Just like shopping for clothes, it’s not one size fits all! Come in and see us and explore your options – together.

Everyone deserves great sex, and you deserve to know what works for you. Get brave and come see us at one of our five Dallas-Fort Worth locations. We’re proud to help you.