They say life is all about the journey rather than the destination, and sex is no different. According to Dr. Celeste Holbrook, when asked what their favorite part of engaging in sexual pleasure is, almost 100% of women answer the “arousal” period (i.e. “the journey”), rather than the orgasm (i.e. “the destination”). This “arousal” period is also known as Foreplay.
What is Foreplay?
Foreplay is any sexual activity that precedes intercourse. Consider it the warm-up before the main event. Athletes don’t just run out on the field blindly – they try new plays, then review the tape and make adjustments as needed. That’s why Foreplay and Aftercare are the bookends to sex.
The Importance of Foreplay
Many women find it impossible to orgasm, which is linked to a lack of time and space to fully relax and let the mind go and very little to do with physical ability. That’s where foreplay comes in. Couples who engage in Foreplay report having a happier sexual relationship than those who do not make time for it. You don’t want to take any shortcuts and decrease your opportunity to access deep states of orgasm, so take the time to engage and enjoy the journey!
Getting Started
Like any other sexual activity, foreplay is grounded in communication. Talk to your partner about both of your wants and needs, and review our new communication tool below for guidance. Take it slow, rev the engines, and remember that long-lasting foreplay is more important than keeping it up and going all night.
Communication Tools
Download our new Communication Tool, which includes different types of Foreplay and options to consider. Also, check out our Top Sexpert Tip below for how to ensure you fully engage in foreplay for the right amount of time.
Top Sex-pert Tip
Statistically, both men and women agree that 20-30 minutes of foreplay is ideal, but that can seem like a long time. How do you know you’ve met the mark? Setting a timer on your phone isn’t sexy, so we recommend making a sexy soundtrack playlist of songs that always get you in the mood. Have your playlist last 20-30 minutes and when you hear the first song repeat itself, then you know enough time has passed. You can now move on to intercourse if you choose.
Have questions or need more guidance? Stop by one of our five Velvet Box locations to talk to one of our intimacy specialists, review more of our Communication Tools, or read up on all of our Health & Wellness Resources we have to offer!
To your connection and excitement,
Your friendly Velvet Box sex-perts