Velvet Box

Upscale DFW Adult Toy Boutique and Lingerie Store

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The Importance of Communication in a Relationship

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For over the past 10 years, Velvet Box has helped thousands of people overcome sexual barriers so they can experience the connection and excitement they deserve and have always wanted. Today, we’re letting you in on sex therapists’ top tips on how to experience the connection and sexual fulfillment you’re looking for in your relationship. Enter: the importance of communication. 

Why is communication important?

Communication is vital for building and sustaining a healthy relationship both in and outside of the bedroom. Lack of communication can lead to a disconnect between partners, even if it’s not obvious right away. Just as we strive to change the narrative around sex and sexual wellness through open dialogue, it’s important that you communicate with your partner (and yourself) about your personal and sexual needs and desires in order to nurture your relationship and avoid discourse now and in the future.

Here, with the help of Dr. Marty Klein’s “8 Ways to Put Sex Therapists Out of Business” article, we answer why having open communication about sex (and everything else!) with your partner is important and advice to get you started. 

Communication closes the gap between questions and answers

Does your partner know how you like to be touched when having sex? Do they know that you need a little extra stimulation to orgasm? Do you know if your partner likes it when you go down on them? In the words of Dr. Klein, “the answer to many, many questions is simply ‘talk to your partner.’ And do it more than once.” Take the time to sit down and talk about these things with your partner outside of the bedroom. Chances are you aren’t the only one who has questions.

To get going, try bringing our Teach Me Your Love Language communication tool to the table. For those who need a little extra help (and that’s quite a lot of us!) to achieve a full orgasm, try adding one (or all) of these into the mix: We Vibe Pivot, Womanizer Premium Eco, Wicked Gel Lubricant.

Communication can lead to more sexual fulfillment

It’s totally normal to feel vulnerable or insecure about your (or your partner’s) desires and fantasies, but as long as everyone is on the same page with safety and consent, there’s no need to. According to Dr. Klein, a “fantasy is a way to ‘experience’ things without any real-world consequences. Thus, fantasy is a library of human sexual imagination. No one fantasizes about things they can easily do in real life.” Of course, your fantasies might seem weird at first – they’re from your imagination! If you have a desire or fantasy that can’t be lived out without the help of your partner, tell them about it and ask them if they have any you can help with, too. Try using our Sexual Interest Inventory communication tool to get started. You might find that you both fantasize about the same things, or create a new, shared fantasy altogether. It takes two to tango! 

When exploring your fantasies or trying new things in the bedroom, remember to always practice Aftercare to ensure both parties involved feel safe, comfortable, and listened to.

Communication can help to overcome sexual setbacks

There are many reasons why penetrative sex may not be an option (erectile dysfunction, painful vagina, or someone just isn’t in the mood). So if you want intercourse but can’t have it, talking to your partner about trying out other options is far healthier for your relationship than just stopping in frustration. In the words of Dr. Klein, “if two people want to have sex, and they can’t do the thing they planned to do, there are plenty of alternatives.” Find out what intimate acts you can do to satisfy each other when penetrative sex isn’t an option. Is it massaging in a certain spot? Find out with our How to Touch Me tool. Is it adding the use of a toy? If so, sit down with your partner and explore all that we have to offer in the For Us category of our online shop. 

So, what have we learned?

Above all else, always keep in mind our favorite phrase: communication is lubrication. And that applies to both in and outside of the bedroom. Communication is the basis of all human interaction, and having an open conversation about sex with your partner should be no different than asking them how their day went. However, we understand that isn’t always that simple. So if you need a little extra confidence to initiate a conversation, our communication tools are tremendously helpful. 

Everyone deserves great sex, and you deserve to know what works for you. Get brave and come see us at one of our five Dallas-Fort Worth locations. We’re proud to help you.

Foreplay – New Communication Tool

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They say life is all about the journey rather than the destination, and sex is no different. According to Dr. Celeste Holbrook, when asked what their favorite part of engaging in sexual pleasure is, almost 100% of women answer the “arousal” period (i.e. “the journey”), rather than the orgasm (i.e. “the destination”). This “arousal” period is also known as Foreplay. 

What is Foreplay?

Foreplay is any sexual activity that precedes intercourse. Consider it the warm-up before the main event. Athletes don’t just run out on the field blindly – they try new plays, then review the tape and make adjustments as needed. That’s why Foreplay and Aftercare are the bookends to sex.

The Importance of Foreplay

Many women find it impossible to orgasm, which is linked to a lack of time and space to fully relax and let the mind go and very little to do with physical ability. That’s where foreplay comes in. Couples who engage in Foreplay report having a happier sexual relationship than those who do not make time for it. You don’t want to take any shortcuts and decrease your opportunity to access deep states of orgasm, so take the time to engage and enjoy the journey!

Getting started with Foreplay

Like any other sexual activity, foreplay is grounded in communication. Talk to your partner about both of your wants and needs, and review our new Foreplay Communication Tool below for guidance. Trust us when we say engaging in foreplay is worth it! Take it slow, rev the engines, and remember that long-lasting foreplay is more important than keeping it up and going all night. 

Communication Tools

Download our new Foreplay Communication Tool, which includes different types of Foreplay and options to consider. Also, check out our Top Sexpert Tip below for how to ensure you fully engage in foreplay for the right amount of time.

Top Sex-pert Tip

Statistically, both men and women agree that 20-30 minutes of foreplay is ideal, but that can seem like a long time. How do you know you’ve met the mark? Setting a timer on your phone isn’t sexy, so we recommend making a sexy soundtrack playlist of songs that always get you in the mood. Have your playlist last 20-30 minutes and when you hear the first song repeat itself, then you know enough time has passed. You can now move on to intercourse if you choose.

Have questions or need more guidance? Stop by one of our five Velvet Box locations to talk to one of our intimacy specialists, review more of our Communication Tools, or read up on all of our Health & Wellness Resources we have to offer!

To your connection and excitement,
Your friendly Velvet Box sex-perts

Aftercare – New Communication Tool

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We’re always on the hunt for new ways to help inspire excitement and connection in your lives, and we know our communication tools are tremendously helpful. At Velvet Box, we’re passionate about providing resources and care to help build intimacy and create comfortable and safe spaces for all, both before and during sex, as well as after. Today we are discussing the importance of post-sex communication, also known as Aftercare.

What Is Aftercare?

Aftercare is common in the kink community, but it is not just limited to kink. It is talking, laughing, crying, discussing what went well (or what didn’t go well), and taking care of yourself and your partner after sex. Sex ends abruptly, so Aftercare is about pampering and nurturing one another. It includes verbal communication as well as non-verbal communication, such as cuddling, touching, kissing, and caressing, and even gestures like taking a shower, having a snack, or taking alone time to digest what just happened. 

The Importance of Aftercare

The purpose of Aftercare is to make sure all parties involved leave the interaction in a positive mental state and feel comfortable post-intimacy. For example, you may have tried a new position, method, or toy that you either loved, didn’t love, or maybe something just went wrong. Enter: Aftercare. Aftercare can help to relieve underlying sexual shame and makes for stronger emotional bonds. It is about being vulnerable in the blissful moments of afterglow (or embarrassment) and not taking each other for granted. 

Initiating Aftercare

Aftercare is an essential part of understanding each other’s needs and respecting one another, and it all begins with communication. Whether you are new to Aftercare or practice it regularly, take the time to review our new Aftercare Communication Tool below for guidance.

Communication Tools

Download our Aftercare Communication Tool, which includes different types of Aftercare and various questions to consider when practicing it. 

Have questions or need more guidance? Stop by one of our five Velvet Box locations to talk to one of our intimacy specialists, review more of our Communication Tools, or read up on all of our Health & Wellness Resources we have to offer!

To your connection and excitement,
Your friendly Velvet Box sex-perts

Silver Sex – Your Best Sex Is Still Ahead of You!

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Some people may say or think that sex is a young person’s game. But, with a little imagination (and maybe a visit to your friendly Velvet Box store), we say that senior sex, or “Silver Sex,” is something to look forward to! Yes, your body and your desire may change, but we’re here to help you embrace your changing sexuality.

A few tips to get you started:

Take an Online Class

A class?! Yes! We host online classes you can join anonymously from the privacy of your home 2-3 times per month for just $10 per class. (Check out our schedule here.) These are a great way to spark your curiosity, learn something new, and connect with your partner.

Communicate With Your Partner

You already know this, but open communication is critical to a great sex life, whether you’ve been together decades or weeks. If your needs and wants have changed (or you’ve never been able to express your desires), but you’re struggling to find the words, check our Communication Tools to help guide your conversation. To begin, we recommend:

Spice Up the Toy Box

Whether you want to shop online or come see one of our amazing, friendly, helpful sex-perts at one of our 5 DFW-area stores, here are a few lubricant and toy recommendations to help make your senior sex experience all the more pleasurable and comfortable.

Velvet Box Lubricant for Seniors

Wicked Simply Hybrid 

First things first – lube! Creamy hybrid lubricants like Wicked Simply Hybrid are great because they have the benefits of both water-based and silicone-based lubes and almost none of the disadvantages. Creamy hybrid lubes are long-lasting, usually tasteless, rarely sticky, and can double as a daily moisturizer for vaginal dryness as well as a fantastic personal lubricant for sex. Wicked Simply Hybrid has clean cosmetic grade packaging and an easy to use pump cap that disperses just the right amount of lube (but feel free to use as much as you need!). Hybrid lubes are safe for all toy materials.

Velvet Box Sex Toys for Seniors We-Vibe Pivot

We-Vibe Pivot

The Pivot is a vibrating c-ring, which is a couple’s toy that the male wears around the base of the penis. The ring itself is made of durable medical-grade silicone, which will restrict blood flow to the penis, which helps create a firmer erection. Then the vibrator on the top provides hands-free clitoral stimulation during sex and also sends waves of vibration through the penis. Ultimately, it is an external vibrator that can be used anywhere on the body, so use your imagination! One cool trick is to wrap the ring around your fingers with the Pivot in the palm of your hand so that you can use your vibrating fingers to stimulate your partner. Can you say “magic fingers”?!

Velvet Box Sex Toys for Seniors Penis Pump Optimum Series Automatic Smart Pump

Optimum Series – Automatic Smart Pump

This auto pump is actually multiple toys in one package. First, it’s a penis pump. The user inserts their penis into the canister and presses it firmly against the pelvis creating an airtight seal. Then the automatic pump will suck all the air out of the toy and simultaneously pull more blood into the penis, helping to create a firm erection. Once the user has achieved the firmness of the erection desired, they can remove the pump and put on a C-ring to lock the blood in place. 

Secondly, this toy comes with a soft masturbation sleeve. For this purpose, the user can apply lube to the penis and the toy and follow the same steps, only this time, they can stroke the penis and received simulated oral sex. This product is great for penis-owners who may have erectile dysfunction. Not only does the pump help achieve an erection, but even if you are not able to achieve full mast, you can still experience tremendous pleasure from the suction and textured sleeve. 

Femme Funn Ultra Wand

Femme Fun Ultra Wand

The ultra wand is an ideal senior sex toy: it’s lightweight, quiet, powerful, and discrete. The toy itself is actually a small body massager, so if your kids find it, you can just claim to have a sore neck. The entire toy is coated in medical-grade silicone that helps with gripping the toy, so if you have any dexterity issues, this toy is right for you. Not to mention the powerful vibrating head is ideal for providing external, clitoral stimulation, even if you have lost some sensitivity in that area. (Our Femme Fun products are available only in Velvet Box stores.)

Velvet Box Sex Toys for Seniors Womanizer Premium

Womanizer Premium

The Womanizer Premium uses air pleasure technology to provide clitoral stimulation as you have never experienced before. Simply place the open face of the tip of the toy directly over the clitoris and create an airtight seal against the skin, turn it on and hang on for the ride. Not that it’s a long ride… the Womanizer Premium can give a woman a very intense clitoral orgasm in a matter of minutes. Some women even experience such powerful orgasms that they even experience female ejaculation. How’s that for spicing things up?

Thigh Strap-on Harness and attachment

The thigh strap-on is an excellent alternative for someone unable to participate in typical penetrative sex. Not only does the thigh strap allow you to experience many sexual positions, but it also allows you to have access to your genitals, unlike other hollow strap-ons. With the thigh strap-on, you can still experience sexual stimulation while your partner gets to experience more typical penetrative sex. 

Remember that your mind is your largest sex organ, and you can receive pleasure just from knowing that you are providing pleasure to your partner. 

Think outside the box of typical senior sex and dive into the endless wonders of toys while you build intimacy and pleasure for the best sex of your life! 

4 Must Have Toys To Make Them Melt This Valentine’s Day

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2020 is here and she is not playing around. There is an abundance of jaw-dropping new and naughty things coming out this year! And we are here to weed through the lot of them and pick out the hottest, most enticing sheet-gripping items that you just shouldn’t miss this Valentine’s Day.

1. We-Vibe Melt

WeVibe Melt Velvet Box DFW Womens Sex Toys

Let’s start off with the toy that has Melt right there in the name. The We-Vibe Melt is the newest air pulse toy from the geniuses over at We-Vibe. And boy does this baby live up to its name. The air pulses gently massage the clitoris, leading to intense pleasure and incredible orgasms. Melt’s pulsating waves and gentle suction surround the clitoris with sensations that range from gentle kisses to stronger suction as you increase the intensity. This baby is also the first air pulse technology toy designed for couples. Melt’s slender, angled shape fits perfectly between you and your partner in any position, with no bulk to get in the way of your pleasure.

2. Svakom Alex

Svakom Alex mens masturbator

Svakom Alex is a incredibly powerful thrusting stroker. Alex has 7 intense auto-thrusting modes for ultimate pleasure. Ultra-soft internal material for a realistic touch. And even comes equipped with 5 immersive scenarios with vocal and scenic sounds.

3. We-Wand by We-Vibe

we-vibe wand velvet box

We-Vibe has used their genius to create yet another phenomenal product. The We-Wand! This is the most advanced and powerful wireless massager on the market. That’s right, with this baby not only do you get a dimmer switch that can take you from zero to blast off with the touch of a button, you don’t have to be tethered to a wall. It also Includes two innovative attachments for different sensations — one fluttery and focused, the other smooth and stroking. AND it is app capable. This is a powerhouse that anyone would be excited to have in their sexy arsenal.

4. Cadenza by Femme Funn

Candenza femme funn

Femme Funn has redefined the meaning of the word power with its incredibly advanced motors that always manage to curl our toes. This is not your average vibrator, this is a thrusting toy that is perfectly curved to hit all the right spots! It has 7 insane thrusting modes that will make you forget your own name. A gift that truly keeps on giving.

Here are some other ideas to really heat up your Valentine’s Day!

For more sneak peeks, tips and tricks and other sexy fun, follow us on Facebook, Instagram & Twitter.

DIY: Sexy Jenga

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Spice things up with a fun DIY Sexy Jenga bedroom game. With a basic Jenga game and some markers, you can create your very own sexy fun bedroom time. Below are the printable list of foreplay prompts or make your own! This is a completely customizable game, that you can tailor to the toys you own or the kinks you and your partner are into. If you’re into toes make a block, if you aren’t into oral, substitute it for another prompt. Stop by and stock up on sexy accessories and toys to make this a game that you will want to replay over and over again.

Click the image below for the full printable PDF. This is also the perfect gift for your significant other or even friends that are getting engaged, married, or just have an anniversary. If you are looking for more ways to spice things up check out one of our classes or all of the free activities on our Communication Tools page.

DIY Sexy Jenga Velvet Box

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