For Him

5 Ways Sex Toys Enhance Partnered Sex

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Introducing 5 Ways Sex Toys Enhance Partnered Sex, a guest blog by our resident sexologist Dr. Celeste Holbrook.

“But my penis can’t vibrate…will she prefer that instead of me?” 

This was a response from a client when I suggested they try looking into a clitoral vibrator to enhance their sexual experiences. The “replacement theory” is a myth that a sex toy could somehow replace a partner in sex, an idea that worries many.  So I’d like to put this lie to rest by giving you five thrilling (and science-backed) ways that sex toys actually enhance partnered sex…not replace it!

1. Many vulva-owners enjoy clitoral stimulation and its ability to make them come. Add a bit of vibration or air pulse technology and you are experiencing more orgasms even during penetrative sex. 

2. Masturbation is a beautiful and effective way to learn what you like, and in turn, communicate that to your partner. Whether you use a vibrator, a butt plug, or a masturbator sleeve, learning what you love will ultimately help you communicate your needs during partnered sex. And great communication leads to amazing sex. 

3. Psychologically, we adore seeing our partners experience pleasure. This is called “compersion” and is the opposite of jealousy. It’s rarely talked about as one of the greatest joys of sex. Simply watching your partner confidently get off with their vibe can bring you closer and make the sexual experience 10x hotter and more pleasurable.

4. Novelty is the fuel of arousal. Remember when you are in a new relationship, how arousing it is to be around your partner? That is the power of novelty. Now that you have been together for a decade and you intimately know the sound of their chewing, finding new options in sex becomes an important key to keeping arousal hot. So why not sign up for a sexy shopping trip to check out the latest lingerie or restraints? You’ll be feeling that new relationship energy in no time!

5. If you both have the same genitalia, experience mobility issues or are simply bored with your usual missionary position, sex toys can give you the opportunity to experience different and/ or more accessible types of stimulation. A win for you and your partner!

Bottom line: embrace sex toys as companions on your road to fulfilling sexual experiences with your partner.

At Velvet Box, we offer a wide range of resources with Celeste including our on-demand class catalog, as well as our vast stock of sex toys and intimacy products that will guide you to the sexual fulfillment you’re yearning for. From our most recent webinar Vibe With Your Partner: Introducing Toys into the Bedroom to Sex Toys 101, and more, browse our on-demand catalog today and receive a curated list of products and toys with each class! There is truly something for everyone out there, so be brave, and start exploring. 

View our full class catalog here and our online store here.

About Dr. Celeste Holbrook

Many of you may know our resident sexologist, Dr. Celeste Holbrook. Whether it’s through one or many of our intimacy classes with her, or perhaps you’ve been following her incredible Instagram all along (if not, we highly recommend you give her a follow). But for those who may not know her yet, Dr. Holbrook is a sexologist, speaker, and author who has dedicated her life to helping women achieve soul-centered sex through perfectly planned mental and behavioral changes. Learn more about Celeste and her journey as a sexologist on her website at drcelesteholbrook.com.

New sex ed and intimacy classes coming soon!

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At Velvet Box, we pride ourselves on providing incredible sexual education resources for individuals from every generation to grow in intimate connection and learn about their sexuality and needs in a safe, fun, and educational way. That’s why we’re back with new live classes for you, your partner, and others to learn about informative topics from the comfort of your own home.

Our most recent live class, Everything P0rn Didn’t Teach You was a hit, and we’re excited to share that we have more coming your way! Mark your calendars for our informative lineup of classes debuting on the second Tuesday of each month.

Note: Each participant’s name and identity are anonymous when joining the class.

April 12th – Your First Time – Click Here to Register

Nervous about having sex for the first time? You aren’t alone!  Most of us aren’t given a type of sexual education that helps us navigate pleasure and communication in our first sexual experience. Join this webinar to discover what to expect and how to be an advocate for your own pleasure from day one.

In this class, participants will:

1. Explore how to create a sexual ethic that can help you make sexual choices perfectly suited to you.

2. Discover what to expect your first time having sex.

3. Learn about and practice consent. 

May 10th – Raising Sexually Healthy Kids

Many of us want to give our kids more helpful sex education than we received from our parents…but where do you start?  Join our webinar to discover the small but meaningful steps you can take to ensure your kids are gaining the information they need to make healthy sexual choices for themselves. 

In this class, participants will:

1. Explore how your own sexual shame and experiences impact our education to our children. 

2. Discover authentic sexual communication that builds sexually resilient kids.

3. Identify how to discuss sex throughout different childhood ages. 

June 14th – Post-Partum – stay tuned for more information!

July 12th – 5 Sexual Myths – stay tuned for more information!

For the past 12 years, we’ve enjoyed being a part of your journey to intimate connection and sexual growth more than you know, and we look forward to having you with us on this next chapter of education! 

Can’t want to wait for our new courses to become available? Check out our on-demand course catalog with something for everyone.

Everyone deserves great sex, and you deserve to know what works for you. Get brave and come see us at one of our five Dallas-Fort Worth locations. We’re proud to help you.

Building Intimacy through Eye Gazing: An Exercise

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It can often be difficult to feel truly connected during sex. Your mind can wander. Sometimes it feels like a task or chore that we are just checking off the list. You just don’t feel as present as you’d like to. Sound familiar?

According to Sex Therapist Dr. Celeste Holbrook, being present is the key to sensuality. Sensuality is by definition “enjoying your senses.” But you cannot enjoy your senses in the future or in the past. You have to be in the moment. 

Here, Dr. Holbrook has provided a quick exercise to sink into the moment prior to sex with your partner using your sense of vision. It is an eye gazing exercise that helps you direct your most highly relied upon sense (your eyesight) into the present. Note: This is a very intimate activity, so only start with 10 seconds.

Here is how you do it:

  1. Sit down comfortably, facing your partner.
  2. Set the timer. You may choose anywhere from 10 seconds to 10 minutes. Start with a time that feels comfortable but somewhat challenging and work up. The longer, the more powerful the experience.
  3. Gaze into the eyes of your partner. You can blink at any point, it’s not a staring competition.
  4. If you get distracted, simply bring back your awareness to the eyes of your partner.
  5. After the experience is over, grab a piece of paper and draw / write about how you are feeling.
  6. Talk about the experience with your partner…you may want to write down a few things in your journal immediately and talk about the experience later. That is okay. Just be sure to debrief at some point.

A note from Dr. Holbrook

Please know that this can be uncomfortable. If you think about it, we don’t sit and look at each other without the help of words to smooth the depth of the connection. But the important part is that you try. Try connecting in this way, on your bed, clothes on or off, before sex. After you get more comfortable with it, it will feel like a beautiful, intimate reset button. It is grounding, it is connective and it is happy!

You deserve to experience the intimacy you’re longing for, and Velvet Box is proud to provide you with resources to further your journey. For more information on building intimacy with your partner, view our Building Intimacy Checklist.

Everyone deserves great sex, and you deserve to know what works for you. Get brave and come see us at one of our five Dallas-Fort Worth locations. We’re proud to help you.

The Importance of Communication in a Relationship

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For over the past 10 years, Velvet Box has helped thousands of people overcome sexual barriers so they can experience the connection and excitement they deserve and have always wanted. Today, we’re letting you in on sex therapists’ top tips on how to experience the connection and sexual fulfillment you’re looking for in your relationship. Enter: the importance of communication. 

Why is communication important?

Communication is vital for building and sustaining a healthy relationship both in and outside of the bedroom. Lack of communication can lead to a disconnect between partners, even if it’s not obvious right away. Just as we strive to change the narrative around sex and sexual wellness through open dialogue, it’s important that you communicate with your partner (and yourself) about your personal and sexual needs and desires in order to nurture your relationship and avoid discourse now and in the future.

Here, with the help of Dr. Marty Klein’s “8 Ways to Put Sex Therapists Out of Business” article, we answer why having open communication about sex (and everything else!) with your partner is important and advice to get you started. 

Communication closes the gap between questions and answers

Does your partner know how you like to be touched when having sex? Do they know that you need a little extra stimulation to orgasm? Do you know if your partner likes it when you go down on them? In the words of Dr. Klein, “the answer to many, many questions is simply ‘talk to your partner.’ And do it more than once.” Take the time to sit down and talk about these things with your partner outside of the bedroom. Chances are you aren’t the only one who has questions.

To get going, try bringing our Teach Me Your Love Language communication tool to the table. For those who need a little extra help (and that’s quite a lot of us!) to achieve a full orgasm, try adding one (or all) of these into the mix: We Vibe Pivot, Womanizer Premium Eco, Wicked Gel Lubricant.

Communication can lead to more sexual fulfillment

It’s totally normal to feel vulnerable or insecure about your (or your partner’s) desires and fantasies, but as long as everyone is on the same page with safety and consent, there’s no need to. According to Dr. Klein, a “fantasy is a way to ‘experience’ things without any real-world consequences. Thus, fantasy is a library of human sexual imagination. No one fantasizes about things they can easily do in real life.” Of course, your fantasies might seem weird at first – they’re from your imagination! If you have a desire or fantasy that can’t be lived out without the help of your partner, tell them about it and ask them if they have any you can help with, too. Try using our Sexual Interest Inventory communication tool to get started. You might find that you both fantasize about the same things, or create a new, shared fantasy altogether. It takes two to tango! 

When exploring your fantasies or trying new things in the bedroom, remember to always practice Aftercare to ensure both parties involved feel safe, comfortable, and listened to.

Communication can help to overcome sexual setbacks

There are many reasons why penetrative sex may not be an option (erectile dysfunction, painful vagina, or someone just isn’t in the mood). So if you want intercourse but can’t have it, talking to your partner about trying out other options is far healthier for your relationship than just stopping in frustration. In the words of Dr. Klein, “if two people want to have sex, and they can’t do the thing they planned to do, there are plenty of alternatives.” Find out what intimate acts you can do to satisfy each other when penetrative sex isn’t an option. Is it massaging in a certain spot? Find out with our How to Touch Me tool. Is it adding the use of a toy? If so, sit down with your partner and explore all that we have to offer in the For Us category of our online shop. 

So, what have we learned?

Above all else, always keep in mind our favorite phrase: communication is lubrication. And that applies to both in and outside of the bedroom. Communication is the basis of all human interaction, and having an open conversation about sex with your partner should be no different than asking them how their day went. However, we understand that isn’t always that simple. So if you need a little extra confidence to initiate a conversation, our communication tools are tremendously helpful. 

Everyone deserves great sex, and you deserve to know what works for you. Get brave and come see us at one of our five Dallas-Fort Worth locations. We’re proud to help you.

Kegels for All!

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Kegel exercises are an important part of pelvic health. Think of them as going to the gym, but for your pelvis. But, how? Well, with the help of our trusted sex-perts, we’re here to talk to you through all of your Kegel FAQS, including what they are, why they are important, and how to do them.

What are Kegel exercises?

Kegel exercises (or “Kegels”) are simple clench-and-release exercises that you can do 3 to 4 times a day to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles. They are named after Dr. Arnold Kegel, an American gynecologist who noted that the pelvic floor muscles were weakened by childbirth. 

Who are Kegel exercises for?

Everyone! Both penis and vulva owners can benefit from Kegel exercises.

Why are Kegel exercises important?

Weak pelvic floor muscles can lead to health issues, such as the inability to control your bladder or bowels, and Kegels help to reduce this issue (and more!). 

By strengthening the pelvic floor muscles, kegel exercises are beneficial for:

  • Reducing urinary and fecal incontinence (from sneezing, coughing, or laughing)
  • Supporting more intense orgasms and ejaculation 
  • Speeding the recovery of the pelvic floor post-pregnancy or surgery

For vulva owners, Kegel exercises can also improve sexual sensation. When the muscles are stronger, more blood flows to the area, improving sensation. For penis owners, they help support erectile function— Kegel exercises make it easier to achieve and maintain an erection.

How to do Kegel exercises for Vulva Owners

  • Start by finding the right muscles. To identify your pelvic floor muscles, stop urination in midstream. If you succeed, you’ve got the right muscles. Imagine your pelvic floor muscles like an elevator rising in your body. Do not push.
  • Once you’ve identified your pelvic floor muscles, lie on your back. 
  • Tighten your pelvic floor muscles and hold the contraction for 5 seconds and then relax for 5 seconds. Try it 4 or 5 times in a row. 
  • Work up to keeping the muscles contracted for 10 seconds at a time, relaxing for 10 seconds between contractions. For best results, focus on tightening only your pelvic floor muscles. Be careful not to flex the muscles in your abdomen, thighs or buttocks, and remember to breathe!

How to do Kegel exercises for Penis Owners

  • Start by finding the right muscles. To identify your pelvic floor muscles, stop urination in midstream. If you succeed, you’ve got the right muscles. 
  • Once you’ve identified your pelvic floor muscles, lie on your back. Tighten your pelvic floor muscles, and hold the contraction for 5 seconds and then relax for 5 seconds. Try it 4 or 5 times in a row. 
  • Work up to keeping the muscles contracted for 10 seconds at a time, relaxing for 10 seconds between contractions. For best results, focus on tightening only your pelvic floor muscles. Be careful not to flex the muscles in your abdomen, thighs or buttocks, and avoid holding your breath. 
  • You can also practice laying a washcloth over your penis and ‘bouncing’ it. Start with a dry cloth and as you work up in strength, you can use a wet one.

How often do I do Kegel exercises?

For both penis and vulva owners, the best practice is to aim for at least 3 sets of 10 repetitions a day. However, you know your body best. Keep in mind that this should be a challenge!

Once you’ve mastered the art of Kegels, you’ll realize that you can do them anytime and anyplace – while relaxing at home or even sitting at your desk.

Important note for all

Don’t make a habit of using Kegel exercises to start and stop your urine stream.  can actually weaken the muscles and lead to incomplete emptying of the bladder, increasing the risk of urinary tract infection.

Resources

Have questions or need more guidance? Stop by one of our five Velvet Box locations to talk to one of our sexual health specialists. Would rather stay home? Watch this video for the best how-to for kegel exercises, which we use in our associate training!

4 Must Have Toys To Make Them Melt This Valentine’s Day

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2020 is here and she is not playing around. There is an abundance of jaw-dropping new and naughty things coming out this year! And we are here to weed through the lot of them and pick out the hottest, most enticing sheet-gripping items that you just shouldn’t miss this Valentine’s Day.

1. We-Vibe Melt

WeVibe Melt Velvet Box DFW Womens Sex Toys

Let’s start off with the toy that has Melt right there in the name. The We-Vibe Melt is the newest air pulse toy from the geniuses over at We-Vibe. And boy does this baby live up to its name. The air pulses gently massage the clitoris, leading to intense pleasure and incredible orgasms. Melt’s pulsating waves and gentle suction surround the clitoris with sensations that range from gentle kisses to stronger suction as you increase the intensity. This baby is also the first air pulse technology toy designed for couples. Melt’s slender, angled shape fits perfectly between you and your partner in any position, with no bulk to get in the way of your pleasure.

2. Svakom Alex

Svakom Alex mens masturbator

Svakom Alex is a incredibly powerful thrusting stroker. Alex has 7 intense auto-thrusting modes for ultimate pleasure. Ultra-soft internal material for a realistic touch. And even comes equipped with 5 immersive scenarios with vocal and scenic sounds.

3. We-Wand by We-Vibe

we-vibe wand velvet box

We-Vibe has used their genius to create yet another phenomenal product. The We-Wand! This is the most advanced and powerful wireless massager on the market. That’s right, with this baby not only do you get a dimmer switch that can take you from zero to blast off with the touch of a button, you don’t have to be tethered to a wall. It also Includes two innovative attachments for different sensations — one fluttery and focused, the other smooth and stroking. AND it is app capable. This is a powerhouse that anyone would be excited to have in their sexy arsenal.

4. Cadenza by Femme Funn

Candenza femme funn

Femme Funn has redefined the meaning of the word power with its incredibly advanced motors that always manage to curl our toes. This is not your average vibrator, this is a thrusting toy that is perfectly curved to hit all the right spots! It has 7 insane thrusting modes that will make you forget your own name. A gift that truly keeps on giving.

Here are some other ideas to really heat up your Valentine’s Day!

For more sneak peeks, tips and tricks and other sexy fun, follow us on Facebook, Instagram & Twitter.