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For Her

Redefining Sex Podcast with Dr. Celeste Holbrook

March 18, 2021 by Lauren Cockerell

This Women’s History Month, we want to talk about redefining sex. If you spent your formative years being told that sex was dirty or shameful, or that sex was only penetrative intercourse, or a variety of other harmful, negative stories, then it’s time to pivot.

We invite you to listen to a wonderful podcast featuring our resident sex educator Dr. Celeste Holbrook with host My So-Called Fabulous with Tiffany Blackmon. It’s a brave, vulnerable conversation about redefining sex, regardless of what stage of life you’re in. We highly recommend you check it out right away before hopping in between the sheets!

Filed Under: For Her, Sex Education

From Purity Culture To Pleasure

October 16, 2020 by Lauren Cockerell

How purity culture can affect adult sexuality, and how you can heal from it.

Over the past 10 years, Velvet Box has been helping thousands of people overcome sexual stigma and experience connection, education and excitement. And, as we continue this journey with you, we are excited to announce that we are diving into a new topic with the help of instructor Dr. Celeste Holbrook: today we’re talking about purity culture, and how it can affect adult sexuality. 

So, what exactly is “purity culture”, how does it affect sexuality, and how can you heal from it? 

What is purity culture?

Over on her blog and on a variety of podcasts, Dr. Holbrook has been discussing the modern purity culture and how it has affected the sexual education and sexuality of individuals since the “free love” movement of the 1960s. This propelled a counter era of the late ‘80’s and 90’s based on the evangelical Christian message of sexual “purity”. “Out of this need for control over Christian sex grew ‘purity culture,’ or the idea that one could be ‘pure’ in the eyes of God by refraining from sexual thought or action until the wedding night,” stated Holbrook in her blog. 

How purity culture can affect sexuality?

Messages of purity can have a deep and long term effect on sexual thoughts, behaviors and confidence. After listening to more than 10,000 women, Holbrook studied Religious Trauma Syndrome and found significant connections between purity messaging in youth and sexuality as an adult. “I see many women in my practice who experience low libido and painful sex. Most of them have a background of messages that indicate sex is dangerous,” Holbrook states in her “Sex is dangerous, they said” post. Other messages include “You are responsible for arousing men sexually,” which can lead to “sex feels like a responsibility or a chore – something on the to-do list.” Sound familiar?

How to heal from purity culture?

While the modern “purity culture” has evolved over the past 40 years, the idea of social purity dates back to the beginning of the 19th century. How does one overcome an ideology ingrained in our culture for the past 220 years? We’ve outlined a few tips to help you begin your journey to pleasure, from education and classes to toys and intimacy advice.  

  1. Take the time to dive into Dr. Celeste Holbrook’s research on the purity culture via the links below:
    • “Purity Culture Verses Comprehensive Sex Education”
    • “Sex is Dangerous, They Said”
    • “How Purity Messages Impact Your Current Sex Life”
  1. Sign up for our new class “From Purity to Pleasure” with Dr. Celeste Holbrooke on Wednesday, October 21st at 8:00PM. 
  1. Stop by one of our five Velvet Box locations to talk to one of our intimacy specialists.
  1. Check out the following communication tools and recommended toys.

Communication Tools 

Here are two great worksheets to help you communicate your desires and your comfort.

Sexual Interest Inventory

How to Touch Me


Ideal Toys for Getting Started

Lubricant

It is a myth that a woman’s natural lubrication will show up on cue (similar to the myth that a man can always achieve or maintain an erection when he wants to). So it’s handy to always keep a bottle of lube nearby for when you are ready for play. Lubricant can also help if you are experiencing pain or discomfort during sex because it creates a barrier between the skin and significantly reduces friction and micro-tearing. Think of it like oil for your engine; you want those pistons running smoothly. I suggest a hybrid lubricant – either the gels or the creams – because they are very wet, and they tend to last longer because of their thicker consistency. Also, they are compatible with silicone toys.

Bullet

Society has always been harder on a woman’s personal sexual exploration than they are on a man’s. As a result, many women have never learned to masturbate. If you don’t know what works for you, then you’ll struggle to show your partner what you like and need. Fun fact: over 80% of women achieve orgasm from clitoral stimulation alone. If you are one of those women (and you likely are), then you need a bullet. A bullet is your best friend. They are small, discrete, and typically more powerful than they look. Plus, you can use it to explore pleasure points all over the body. Bullets come in all sorts of shapes and sizes and can be used with your partner or on your own. We recommend that you use it on your own first, because knowing your body and what feels good for you is essential to communicating your needs to your partner. Plus, hey, we all deserve some quality alone-time, right? (The Femme Funn Booster Bullet pictured here is available in Velvet Box stores.)

Vibrating C-Ring

As we mentioned before, over 80% of women achieve orgasm by clitoral stimulation alone. Unfortunately, the clitoris is on the outside of the body and doesn’t always get the attention it deserves during typical intercourse. Then some genius (probably a woman) strapped a vibrator to a penis, and the world was never the same. A vibrating c-ring provides hands-free clitoral stimulation during sex, suddenly making the missionary position a lot more fun. There are so many benefits to a vibrating c-ring. Firstly the ring itself acts as a tourniquet, locking blood into the penis for a firmer, harder, more engorged erection. Then the vibrator sends vibrations through the penis, which is very pleasurable for the wearer and the recipient. Lastly, the vibrator massages the clitoris during sex, giving the clitoris all the attention it deserves. Remember to keep the vibe in contact with the clitoris, so think more grinding, less humping and pumping. 

Sex Games

If you want to start exploring the vast and exciting world of sexual pleasure, but you don’t know where to start, then try picking up a sex game. These games are designed to help you spice up your sex life. If you don’t know what to do, start at the literal square one of a board game. Or roll the dice; we promise someone will get lucky, and we are willing to bet it’s both of you. Sex games are also great conversation starters; not only should you talk about trying whatever the card told you to beforehand, we recommend that you talk about the experience after the fact, too. Aftercare is an essential and often overlooked part of healthy sex. Be honest and talk about it. Michael Jordan wasn’t born the best basketball player in the world; it took practice. So think of this as practice: huddle and discuss the next play, and maybe even make time for two-a-days. 

BDSM

BDSM gets a bad rep even though more than 40% of couples have experimented with some form of it at some point in their lives. Some people may think BDSM is about control or pain, and although that can exist, it’s mostly about exploring the limits of pleasure. Try something easy, like a blindfold and some velcro restraints, and think about it as relaxing into the experience rather than fighting it. Restraints are meant to ground you, not to be fought against like a victim in a Taken movie. (Although, that sort of role play can be explored as well. You do you, boo.) Wouldn’t it be nice to relax and have your partner pleasure you? The most important parts of this kind of play are clearly communicating your wants and needs, creating limits and boundaries, and setting a safe word. Then honor those boundaries. Don’t break your partner’s trust because you think it’s funny, or you’ll risk losing access to an entire world of fetishes that you can explore together. 

We-Vibe Chorus

We can’t talk about couples’ sex and not mention the number one couples toy in the world, the We-Vibe Chorus. Similar to the vibrating C-ring, the Chorus provides hands-free clitoral stimulation during sex. But, unlike the c-ring, the Chorus is worn by the woman, provides constant clitoral stimulation, and stimulates the g-spot while also gliding along the penis during intercourse. This toy does it all. It can be a panty vibe, a solo toy, and it is ideal for foreplay. It’s also submersible waterproof, remote-controlled, and it has an app! That’s right, it has a smartphone app that allows you to do all sorts of cool stuff, but most importantly, it allows you to play with your partner from anywhere in the world. 

Filed Under: For Her, Sex Education

Need Privacy? Check Out These Quiet Sex Toys.

August 25, 2020 by Velvet Box

This year has brought so many challenges and stresses, and you might be needing a little extra “me time” to help yourself relax. But if your whole family is home ALL THE TIME, or you have a lot less privacy than you’re used to, you might need some new devices for a more subtle, under-the-covers experience.

We talked to our Velvet Box sex-perts, and here are their top picks for quiet sex toys. (Note: the toys are quiet; we have no control over how much noise YOU make!) Need more advice? Visit us in store!

All of these very quiet sex toys are:

  • Silicone, which makes them easy to clean and maintain (remember: NO silicone lube; water-based only!)
  • Rechargeable (no pillaging the TV remote for batteries)
  • Water-Resistant (helloooooo bathtime)
  • Full of multiple intensity options and pulsation modes (you do you, boo!)
  • all have some form of warranty (get after it!)


1. Womanizer Premium

This fan-favorite boasts a Smart Silent Mode that activates on contact, so if you pull away the device shuts off instantly. (Helpful in case of unexpected interruptions. “What!? Nothing happening in here!”)

The Womanizer Premium is an external, clitoral air pleasure toy. Its whisper-quiet gentle pulses of air are unlike anything you’ve felt before, and no one will hear a thing.

2. We-Vibe Rave

Velvet Box Quiet Sex Toys We-Vibe Rave

Our next pick is the We-Vibe Rave, an internal, G-Spot vibrator. Its unique asymmetrical shape is great for finding just the right spot, and the firm and rigid toy is perfect for applying pressure and massage to the G-Spot. (The We-Vibe Rave is available in Velvet Box stores.)

3. Satisfyer Vibes Yummy Sunshine

Velvet Box Quiet Sex Toys Satisfyer Vibes Yummy Sunshine

Just looking at this cute toy makes us smile; we feel less stressed already! Want to unwind further? Check out the Satisfyer Vibes Yummy Sunshine’s flexible soft silicone with a ribbed for pleasure design; each ridge will gently massage the g-spot and vaginal opening (heck yes!). And its deep rumbling vibration is like a Harley Davidson between your legs, which means its finger hole for easy gripping is all the more important as you get where you’re going.

4. Femme Fun Booster Bullet

Velvet Box Sex Toys Femme Fun Booster Bullet

If you need a toy that’s discreet in size as well as quiet in sound, look no further than the Femme Fun Booster Bullet. With this orgasmic silver bullet, you get a very powerful toy that’s great for external/clitoral use. Plus, it has a handle travel case that also serves as the charger. Easy, peasy, oh-my-gosh! (The Femme Fun Booster Bullet is available in Velvet Box stores.)

5. The Rabbit Company Kissing Rabbit

Velvet Box Adult Toys 5. The Rabbit Company Kissing Rabbit

Our final sotto voce toy recommendation is The Rabbit Company Kissing Rabbit toy. Oh, we know you know the Rabbit, but this model features a gentle, pulsing suction on the clitoris while the internal shaft and external ears vibrate. 

So, which quiet sex toy will you explore today? Come see us or shop online, and let the exploration begin!

Filed Under: Clitoral, For Her, Vibrators

How To Buy A Woman Lingerie (The Right Way)

June 15, 2020 by Velvet Box

Walking into a lingerie department unprepared can make anyone feel overwhelmed. Lingerie shopping doesn’t have to be complicated. Here are 5 easy tips to help you pick out the perfect pieces.  

#1 Lingerie Investigator

Sales Associate: What cup size does she wear?

Man: *Hold hands up against chest and cups imaginary breasts.* Umm… like that big. 

Joey Tribbiani Matt Le Blanc GIF from Joeytribbiani GIFs

This happens on the daily. So, before you buy, do your research. Know what size they wear. You can do this, sneaking a peak at her bra and panties next time you take them off or you could just ask them. A little investigative work goes along way and will pay off in the end. There is nothing worse than buying your partner buying lingerie that the wrong size. Too big and you can make them feel like you think they are big and too small and they may feel bad about their body. Either way no one wins. 

#2 Know Her Style

Is she sweet?
Or is she spicy?

What colors does she like? What do you often see her wear? Does she enjoy black or colorful undergarments? If she is not normally a frilly person a pink piece of lingerie with lots of ruffles may not be the way to go. When in doubt, black is always a hot look. Remember this is about her not you. This is about making her feel sexy. 

#3 Keep It Simple

That piece on the mannequin with 5 million straps looks hot right? Not if she can’t get it on it doesn’t. If once you take it off the mannequin it looks like a ball of ribbon, this is not the piece to start with. These things do not come with instructions. Keep that in mind. Instead keep it simple with pieces that are easy to get in and out of. If you still want a strappy piece their are many lingerie pieces that are strappy one or two piece options that you don’t need an engineering degree to get in/out of. One of our favorite ways to keep it simple yet really sexy is a great pair of panties and sexy robe. A lace or satin robe is a great piece to throw over any lingerie to make it more sultry.

#4 Ask for help

There is nothing wrong with asking an associate for assistance. No one expects you to know what every style and cut is called. We are here to help. Associates will know which brands/pieces run small, which cut will fit your partner’s body just perfectly, and can help with color/style choices and any needed accessories to complete the ensemble.

#5 Go Lingerie Shopping Together

Lingerie shopping can be a hot before dinner date for a post dinner activity (wink). Each of you pick out a few pieces for her to try on. She can give you little peeks from the dressing room. Make sure, when she is trying on lingerie for you, that you have an opinion on the piece. She wants to feel sexy. When she is asking what you think, don’t just give a shoulder shrug or say “I don’t know.”. It is a straight up mood killer. She buys 1 or 2 she likes, but doesn’t let you in on which pieces made the final cut. Later she can surprise you for a big reveal.

Stop by any of our 5  Velvet Box locations for a fantastic variety of lingerie for every style and every body type. We are here to help you find the perfect lingerie.

For more sneak peeks, tips and tricks and other sexy fun, follow us on Facebook, Instagram & Twitter.

Filed Under: For Her, Lingerie

4 Must Have Toys To Make Them Melt This Valentine’s Day

February 11, 2020 by Velvet Box

2020 is here and she is not playing around. There is an abundance of jaw-dropping new and naughty things coming out this year! And we are here to weed through the lot of them and pick out the hottest, most enticing sheet-gripping items that you just shouldn’t miss this Valentine’s Day.

1. We-Vibe Melt

WeVibe Melt Velvet Box DFW Womens Sex Toys

Let’s start off with the toy that has Melt right there in the name. The We-Vibe Melt is the newest air pulse toy from the geniuses over at We-Vibe. And boy does this baby live up to its name. The air pulses gently massage the clitoris, leading to intense pleasure and incredible orgasms. Melt’s pulsating waves and gentle suction surround the clitoris with sensations that range from gentle kisses to stronger suction as you increase the intensity. This baby is also the first air pulse technology toy designed for couples. Melt’s slender, angled shape fits perfectly between you and your partner in any position, with no bulk to get in the way of your pleasure.

2. Svakom Alex

Svakom Alex mens masturbator

Svakom Alex is a incredibly powerful thrusting stroker. Alex has 7 intense auto-thrusting modes for ultimate pleasure. Ultra-soft internal material for a realistic touch. And even comes equipped with 5 immersive scenarios with vocal and scenic sounds.

3. We-Wand by We-Vibe

we-vibe wand velvet box

We-Vibe has used their genius to create yet another phenomenal product. The We-Wand! This is the most advanced and powerful wireless massager on the market. That’s right, with this baby not only do you get a dimmer switch that can take you from zero to blast off with the touch of a button, you don’t have to be tethered to a wall. It also Includes two innovative attachments for different sensations — one fluttery and focused, the other smooth and stroking. AND it is app capable. This is a powerhouse that anyone would be excited to have in their sexy arsenal.

4. Cadenza by Femme Funn

Candenza femme funn

Femme Funn has redefined the meaning of the word power with its incredibly advanced motors that always manage to curl our toes. This is not your average vibrator, this is a thrusting toy that is perfectly curved to hit all the right spots! It has 7 insane thrusting modes that will make you forget your own name. A gift that truly keeps on giving.

Here are some other ideas to really heat up your Valentine’s Day!

For more sneak peeks, tips and tricks and other sexy fun, follow us on Facebook, Instagram & Twitter.

Filed Under: For Her, For Him, For Them, For Us, Gifts

4 Naughty Toys For A Summer Of Self-lovin’

July 16, 2019 by Velvet Box

“Summer lovin’ had me a blast, summer lovin’ happened so fast, met a toy perfect for me, met a toy cute as could be…”

Ok. Ok. I’ll stop. But, only because I’m about to tantalize you with some super-fun, new and naughty toys to spice up your life. (Refrains from singing Spice Girls – Spice Up Your Life) 

These toys have everything! Something to put in your pocket? Check. Something to exercise with? Check. Something for her? Check. Something for him? Check. Something that works with your phone? Check. See, I told you, they have everything. Let’s just get right into it shall we? 

1. Palmpower Pocket

Palm Power Pocket Vibrator Best Vibrators For Women Velvet Box Fort Worth Lewisville Plano Texas Naughty Toys

“Small but mighty”, is a phrase that is overused. However, in this case it is the most appropriate phrase. This teensy-tiny little wand doesn’t look like much, but man, does she pack a punch! The Palmpower Pocket has multiple speeds for customizable pleasure. It is rechargeable, flexible and water resistant. It also includes this small silicone carrying case for super discreet travel options. Because we’ve all heard the TSA stories and no one wants that for you. 

2. Vector by We-Vibe

We-Vibe has done it again with this brand new prostate toy. The Vector is not only powerful with its not one, but TWO super-powered motors, it also has an adjustable shape to get your perfect pleasure. Like other We-Vibe products, Vector is app and remote capable, rechargeable and waterproof. This toy is already getting very high praise from users. 

“I don’t know if there is an award for best prostate toy. But, if there is, everyone just needs to pack it up and go home. This wins, every time.” – Vector user and Velvet Box customer

3. Malibu Minx by CalEx

Malibu Minx Rabbit California Exotics Best Vibrators For Women Velvet Box Fort Worth Lewisville Plano Texas Naughty Toys

The newest addition to the California Dreaming line, Malibu Minx is ready to show you what summer flings are all about. This little minx has 3 internal vibration speeds and 10 leg-shaking, sheet-gripping, mind-blowing, clitoral suction settings. Use internal or external features independently, or combine them both for non-stop earth-shattering orgasmic waves. She is rechargeable and waterproof making her the ultimate travel companion. To see the other naughty toys in this collection stop by and check out the entire California Dreaming line.

4. Sexercise Kegel Wand by Shots

Kegel Toy Wand Vibrator Shots America Best Vibrators For Women Velvet Box Fort Worth Lewisville Plano Texas Naughty Toys

2-in-1? Orgasms and exercise? Yep! Get the best of both worlds with this toy. This wand is not your ordinary remote controlled vibrator. The Sexercise Kegel Wand is a powerful vibrator as well as a serious kegel training system. Strategically placed sensors along the head and shaft of the wand connect to the watch to track your pelvic floor workout. Kegel training, while necessary for bladder control as well as vaginal tightness, can sometimes be boring. But when training with this bad boy, you’ll be a kegel queen in no time and have some orgasms along the way!  The Kegel Wand came to play with 10 powerful vibration modes that will knock your socks off!  With the Sexercise Kegel Wand, you really can have your cake and eat it too. 

Sign up for a summer semester in our NEW CLASSES in SexEd University. Currently we are attending some summer trade shows looking for all the things, especially those hot new and naughty toys. Keep up with our social media for some scintillating sneak peeks.  

Want more? For tips & tricks, password sales and sexy sneak peeks follow us out on Facebook, Twitter&Instagram.

Filed Under: Clitoral, For Her, For Us

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