Communication Tools

They say life is all about the journey rather than the destination, and sex is no different. According to Dr. Celeste Holbrook, when asked what their favorite part of engaging in sexual pleasure is, almost 100% of women answer the “arousal” period (i.e. “the journey”), rather than the orgasm (i.e. “the destination”). This “arousal” period is also known as Foreplay. 

What is Foreplay?

Foreplay is any sexual activity that precedes intercourse. Consider it the warm-up before the main event. Athletes don’t just run out on the field blindly – they try new plays, then review the tape and make adjustments as needed. That’s why Foreplay and Aftercare are the bookends to sex.

The Importance of Foreplay

Many women find it impossible to orgasm, which is linked to a lack of time and space to fully relax and let the mind go and very little to do with physical ability. That’s where foreplay comes in. Couples who engage in Foreplay report having a happier sexual relationship than those who do not make time for it. You don’t want to take any shortcuts and decrease your opportunity to access deep states of orgasm, so take the time to engage and enjoy the journey!

Getting started with Foreplay

Like any other sexual activity, foreplay is grounded in communication. Talk to your partner about both of your wants and needs, and review our new Foreplay Communication Tool below for guidance. Trust us when we say engaging in foreplay is worth it! Take it slow, rev the engines, and remember that long-lasting foreplay is more important than keeping it up and going all night. 

Communication Tools

Download our new Foreplay Communication Tool, which includes different types of Foreplay and options to consider. Also, check out our Top Sexpert Tip below for how to ensure you fully engage in foreplay for the right amount of time.

Top Sex-pert Tip

Statistically, both men and women agree that 20-30 minutes of foreplay is ideal, but that can seem like a long time. How do you know you’ve met the mark? Setting a timer on your phone isn’t sexy, so we recommend making a sexy soundtrack playlist of songs that always get you in the mood. Have your playlist last 20-30 minutes and when you hear the first song repeat itself, then you know enough time has passed. You can now move on to intercourse if you choose.

Have questions or need more guidance? Stop by one of our five Velvet Box locations to talk to one of our intimacy specialists, review more of our Communication Tools, or read up on all of our Health & Wellness Resources we have to offer!

To your connection and excitement,
Your friendly Velvet Box sex-perts

We’re always on the hunt for new ways to help inspire excitement and connection in your lives, and we know our communication tools are tremendously helpful. At Velvet Box, we’re passionate about providing resources and care to help build intimacy and create comfortable and safe spaces for all, both before and during sex, as well as after. Today we are discussing the importance of post-sex communication, also known as Aftercare.

What Is Aftercare?

Aftercare is common in the kink community, but it is not just limited to kink. It is talking, laughing, crying, discussing what went well (or what didn’t go well), and taking care of yourself and your partner after sex. Sex ends abruptly, so Aftercare is about pampering and nurturing one another. It includes verbal communication as well as non-verbal communication, such as cuddling, touching, kissing, and caressing, and even gestures like taking a shower, having a snack, or taking alone time to digest what just happened. 

The Importance of Aftercare

The purpose of Aftercare is to make sure all parties involved leave the interaction in a positive mental state and feel comfortable post-intimacy. For example, you may have tried a new position, method, or toy that you either loved, didn’t love, or maybe something just went wrong. Enter: Aftercare. Aftercare can help to relieve underlying sexual shame and makes for stronger emotional bonds. It is about being vulnerable in the blissful moments of afterglow (or embarrassment) and not taking each other for granted. 

Initiating Aftercare

Aftercare is an essential part of understanding each other’s needs and respecting one another, and it all begins with communication. Whether you are new to Aftercare or practice it regularly, take the time to review our new Aftercare Communication Tool below for guidance.

Communication Tools

Download our Aftercare Communication Tool, which includes different types of Aftercare and various questions to consider when practicing it. 

Have questions or need more guidance? Stop by one of our five Velvet Box locations to talk to one of our intimacy specialists, review more of our Communication Tools, or read up on all of our Health & Wellness Resources we have to offer!

To your connection and excitement,
Your friendly Velvet Box sex-perts

Spice things up with a fun DIY Sexy Jenga bedroom game. With a basic Jenga game and some markers, you can create your very own sexy fun bedroom time. Below are the printable list of foreplay prompts or make your own! This is a completely customizable game, that you can tailor to the toys you own or the kinks you and your partner are into. If you’re into toes make a block, if you aren’t into oral, substitute it for another prompt. Stop by and stock up on sexy accessories and toys to make this a game that you will want to replay over and over again.

Click the image below for the full printable PDF. This is also the perfect gift for your significant other or even friends that are getting engaged, married, or just have an anniversary. If you are looking for more ways to spice things up check out one of our classes or all of the free activities on our Communication Tools page.

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If you are following our 8 Sex Resolutions for 2019, then you are looking to spice things up by finding out what you and your partner like and communicating that to each other. We are here to give you resources to do just that and more. Over on our brand new Communication Tools page, we have created some quizzes and other fun activities for you and your partner to explore. They are FREE, downloadable pdfs. There are many more to come.

Sexual Interest Inventory Worksheet

The Sexual Interest Inventory is great for letting your partner know what you are game for and what you’d rather do without. You may be surprised by what you have in common. The key to this worksheet is honesty. Don’t be afraid to say you like something, don’t like something or just really don’t know.

Enroll in our SexEd University to learn other ways to spice things up. 

For more tips & tricks, password sales and sexy sneak peeks follow us out on Facebook, Twitter&Instagram.