Margaret Fry

I think it’s safe to say we’ve all faked an orgasm before, but why? The phrase “fake it til you make it” shouldn’t apply to sex. Ever. So, why did we feel so inclined to say we did when we didn’t? In this insightful and educational blog, sexologist Dr. Marty Klein debunks why clitoris owners sometimes fake orgasms. It is an ideal read for partners of clitoris owners (and clitoris owners themselves) on why fake orgasms happen, along with partner-to-partner communication techniques and products to ensure they don’t happen. 

“How do I know if they’re faking orgasm?” is a question I receive a lot, and I am concerned when anyone asks. It suggests a breakdown in communication and probably a lack of trust, and those are both bigger issues than the orgasm itself. If that’s what’s going on, do address this.

Step one: ask. Don’t accuse; ask. Be curious. The question, by the way, is “How do I know when you come?” It’s a reasonable question if asked in a friendly way (and only once or twice, not every week).

Never assume a vulva owner is faking orgasm. Instead, remove the typical reasons they might do so, including:

• *They feel pressured to come
• *They can’t get the stimulation they need to orgasm
• *They want a sexual session to be over, but they’re afraid to say so. Or they say so, and you insist on continuing
• * They know how to orgasm, but you’d rather they orgasm in a different way.

Do you know how your partner has orgasms? Ask. Remember that some vulva owners climax from something in their vagina, while others (most, actually) do so from having their clitoris stimulated—whether by your hand, their hand, your mouth, or a toy.

Toys are a wonderful way for many vulva owners to climax. They’re reliable, and if their partner makes it emotionally safe, they can be a lovely way for partners to enjoy their climax together. Some partners enjoy the way vibrators can reduce the sense of responsibility they feel for a vulva owner’s orgasm. And two people talking about how to use one can enhance their intimacy along with her pleasure. 

For more information about female orgasm and vibrators that provide vaginal, clitoral, or combined stimulation, check out the wide range of toys at Velvet Box.”

• Dr. Marty Klein is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and Certified Sex Therapist in Palo Alto, CA.

No one should feel like they have to fake an orgasm, and we’re here to help. As Dr. Klein said, we carry a premiere – and most importantly effective – stock of sexpert recommended vibrators for both vulva owner and their partners to enjoy together. 

• Explore our Toys for Her
• Explore our Toys for Us 

Cheers to real, pleasurable orgasms, y’all!

Everyone deserves great sex, and you deserve to know what works for you. Get brave and come see us at one of our five Dallas-Fort Worth locations. We’re proud to help you.

The age of the vibrator is very much here, and it doesn’t look like it’s going anywhere (thank goodness!). Vibrators are effective in reaching an orgasm, but with their rise in popularity, there are some aspects to consider regarding vibrators’ impact on couples’ sex lives. To get more insight on the matter, we asked sexologist Dr. Marty Klein the question many of you might be wondering – Is their vibrator replacing you?

“In a word, no. Here are some of the things you can do that the vibrator can’t:

Hug. Kiss. Tease. Care. For most people, those are very important parts of sex.

You have infinite ways of touching them and discovering new ways to do so. A toy can never match your software—you’re patient, encouraging, accepting, light-hearted. That’s what makes sex, um, sexy. If you doubt it, ask them.

As with so much of technology, the right hardware enhances our experience, rather than replacing one of us. So why not take advantage of a toy? It adds to your couples’ experience by providing stimulation at the right intensity and speed—without tiring out your fingers, hand, or arm. Or theirs. It gives them control of that stimulation—you’re not concerned about that, I hope—which can relieve any concerns either of you has about her climaxing.

And the right vibrator will enhance their private pleasure, too. The typical result? More interest in partner sex, presumably with you.

Velvet Box has a wide range of vibrators that are easy to hold, fun to use, and add to the sexual experience. They even carry couples-oriented toys that you can use together, providing a special zing for you, too.

If your partner uses a vibrator, either by themselves or with you, that suggests they take their pleasure and sexual intimacy seriously, which should delight you. Ask them any questions you have about it, including “If you have one of those, what do you need me for?” I bet they’ll be glad to tell you. 

Have them give you a tour of how their favorite toy works—including how they use it when they’re alone, which may give you a few new ideas. Make sure you get your eyes right down where the action is, and make sure there’s some light in the room so you can see what’s what. 

And remember—while vibrators are great for providing orgasms, orgasms are not the most important part of sex. Right?”

• Dr. Marty Klein is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist and Certified Sex Therapist in Palo Alto, CA.

Sex toys are meant to enhance sex, rather than replace it, and we believe in providing individuals and partners with products that enhance intimacy and connection without isolation. Just like shopping for clothes, it’s not one size fits all! Come in and see us and explore your options – together.

Everyone deserves great sex, and you deserve to know what works for you. Get brave and come see us at one of our five Dallas-Fort Worth locations. We’re proud to help you.